New, Deep connections with people is Impossible.

I love getting to know people and maybe a bit too much.
I have been told by other people that it´s just me being paranoid but it  really is a feeling that´s hard to shake off.
I get very open with people after I get over the shy stage of the friendship, and I can become maybe too pushy? supposedly I just ask for too much from people, because I do want people to have the same interest as me when it comes to putting in effort in getting to know the people.

The moment I start msg-ing that person frequently and show interest, I become really invested and quickly throw in some feelings (friendly feelings) and I want to receive the same thing but of course people wont always be interested in you back, that´s just how it is sadly.

I sometimes feel like I´m this hyper dog that constantly wants attention but never gets any, :Þ maybe I´m just clingy?
I mean , I am an introvert but.. I crave communication with people online while I´m relaxing alone in my room. I love just handing out with people on Skype while doing other things, it creates this perfect harmony to me.

Maybe all this is just a fantasy i cant fulfill, I feel like maybe I´m  just not really a likable person compared to everyone else? not cool, not pretty , not skinny or funny enough? just never enough? know what I mean?

That´s why, when it comes to it, I prefer animals because then i know they wont at least betray me.. and let me down.

This isn’t going that well..

Hey guys! , It´s been a while since i wrote anything but i´m back.
so i know some were interested  in  following my herbalife journey but..that hasn’t been going that well..,  since ´m not allowed to work, i don´t really have the income to continue buying herbalife at the moment which is sad :/ , instead ive been fixing my food choices, looking at what i´m eating but wondering why i´m still gaining weight…

Why am I gaining weight though after all this? honestly i have no clue, and i´m honestly quite lost but just today  ive been trying to track everything in myfitnesspal and my plan is to start walking for 1 hour every night.  🙂  Since i´m not allowed to do anything else so far anyway.

This weight loss journey has been going on for me for  a few years so even now when i´m continuing to gain weight  despite everything, especially after my accident is kinda making me hit my complete lowest point. I´m trying to not go into extreme measures since that isn’t always the best idea.

Although when I´m allowed to start working out (whenever that´ll be) I´m going all at  it!
of course whenever I´ll be able to afford to go to practices again. 😛

Hopefully I´ll start showing some results sooner or later and i´ll be sure to update you guys on that.

over and out

You guys have any advice? or are simply interested to add me on social media?
IG: nirayabun
myfitnesspal: guddab